Philippians 3:1-14
Throughout my early to mid-twenties, I pretty much lived in various polo and uniform shirts. I had a red polo for when I cashiered at Sport Chalet, blue polos for when I was a teacher in after school programs at the YMCA and another non-profit. On Sundays and throughout the week I was in my kids’ ministry t-shirt. I felt kind of like a cartoon character, wearing the same outfits everyday. I would work my day job and then go straight to a church event or volunteer in the same clothes or change the shirt to another uniform. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice not having to put much effort into choosing what I had to wear for the day. The problem was, I was slowly loosing my identity. I became Jasmine the Kids Pastor, and struggled to find hobbies or passions outside of the kids/church bubble. I realized how lost I was when I stopped working with kids and didn’t have jobs which required a uniform, and didn’t know what style of clothes I liked. I hadn’t bought new clothes in years! My self-identity was completely merged with my work, so when the title of Kid’s Pastor was taken away from me I had an identity crisis.
Paul also had many titles associated with him. We see his outstanding pedigree in Philippians 3:4-6. He was a full member of God’s covenant people through circumcision. He was an Israelite by birth with all of the rights and privileges that came with it. Paul’s ancestors were from the tribe of Benjamin, who were faithful to God’s covenant. He was a son of Hebrew parents, with no Gentile contamination. His resume was even more impressive. He practiced strict observance of the law as a Pharisee, his devotion to God was so extreme that he persecuted the church. Finally he was considered to be righteous under the law and blameless.
With all of his inherited privileges and achievements, Paul makes the surprising statement, “I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
How do we know Christ…like, really know him? I think we know a lot about him through the Bible, but I struggle now with the idea of having a personal relationship with a man from 2,000 years ago. I, like Paul, have had mystical encounters with Christ. And I believe we can experience Christ through the Holy Spirit. Yet how can the humans fully wrap their minds around knowing Jesus the Christ? Perhaps it is not about a personal relationship with Christ, but rather a knowing of the Christ reality.
To know Christ is to know death and resurrection. It’s being in tune with the rhythm and beat of death transforming into new life throughout the universe. From exploding stars creating new galaxies, to the constant regenerating of our skin cells, we are all participating in the cycle of death and resurrection both physically and spiritually. I may not know what Jesus’ favorite snack was, or what makes him laugh, but death…I know what that is like. Resurrection…I’ve seen that happen. I think there is a lot of folks out there who don’t know anything about Christ, but are acutely aware of knowing the Christ reality.
I believe this is where joy is found. Joy is found in knowing Christ. It’s the joy of knowing that death does not have the final word.
We experience joy in the midst of our world being flipped upside down, knowing that we will be transformed into something new. It is a defiant and subversive optimism.
Knowing Christ is realizing that it’s not faith or the works and polo shirts we acquire that bring resurrection, but it is the faithfulness of Christ which brings it. Joy is trusting the faithfulness of Christ.
Joy asks with curiosity and wonder, “What new life is going to come out of even this?”
Where in your life have you experienced the joy of death and resurrection? Five years ago, I was in a deep depression because I thought my ministry career was over. I didn’t know how to function in a church outside of kids’ ministry, let alone in a place where I am treated as a second class citizen in the Kingdom of God. I had to bury and mourn all of those t-shirts I’ve collected over the years. Slowly, little sparks of joy started to emerge when I found queer Christians and ministries on the internet. I began to lift my head a little, knowing that there may be a future in ministry for me eventually. New life came in the form of affirming relationships and spaces where I can be myself…and explore more deeply who I am. I may have known a lot about Christ. I was born into the faith, dedicated my life to service within the church, attended seminars, conferences, and classes…all of that has no value to me anymore, now that I personally know the Christ. Speaking to you know is a testament to the resurrection and joy I live into now.
May the One who creates galaxies out of dead stars strengthen you.
May sparks of joy lift your head in the midst of suffering
May you ask with curiosity and wonder, “What new life is going to come out of even this?”
And may you know the resurrected Christ who accompanies you always and forever.
Amen.